I'm so fucking centered right now
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
