I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
