I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize