Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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