He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
