ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize