Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
