ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
