wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Drunk is not a location!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
