Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
