Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
