I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
