Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
