I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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