Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
