Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
