Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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