I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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