Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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