why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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