hotel room ftw
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
