It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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