i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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