he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
