The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
