That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
