you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
