So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
3pm strippers are depressing
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
