she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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