im drinking this country out of the recession.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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