the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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