Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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