I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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