please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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