he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
sex in a hospital.. check
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
