I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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