he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
