I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
This is the high leading the old right now
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
