Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
