I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
