Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize