He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
