I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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