new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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