North Korea, Best Korea!
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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