it glows. i had to have it.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
