you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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