New invention idea: vibrating tampons
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
