was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The power of my boobs compel you
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
