FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize