also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
