dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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