Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
