bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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