i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize