Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
