My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
