she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
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