i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
