I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
