This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
