You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
You can't special order awesome
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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