Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Sext me about skeletons
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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