Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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