You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
