About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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